Hello Friends,
Again, It's been a while. I have been trying to figure out who I want to be. Since I posted last, I had not done a painting in quite some time. I haven't even been bogged down with the influx of creativity in a long time. There are pros and cons to that, Pros: I've gotten some really decent sleep. Cons: I have not felt the need to express myself in ways that requires creativity.
I do deal with depression. It's out there; I'm not trying to hide from it. I want to harness it and learn from it so I am in control. Some days are worse than others and all I can muster is being submissive to it's darkness. Let me tell you, IT'S SO HARD to look at myself in the mirror some days because I don't recognize myself. But, I am working to get better. I am trying to hold myself accountable so I actually achieve things without putting them down.
In my self exploration, I have come to realize I am a master procrastinator. If I don't have deadlines, those projects will never get done. Majority of the time, I do my best work when I'm under constraints, but that's no excuse to continuously leave things behind.
So, since I've last written, I've ridden the rollercoaster that is my mind, an actual rollercoaster, I've gotten married to my best friend (some days), re-enrolled in school, and I've painted. YES! I HAVE PAINTED!
It felt good. I had a great time. I loved it and hated it. My normal rounds. I need to figure out how to leave it alone when I Love it, but it never feels finished when I love it.
Any who, if you'd like to see my newest painting, Head on over to the gallery page under commission!
Again, It's been a while. I have been trying to figure out who I want to be. Since I posted last, I had not done a painting in quite some time. I haven't even been bogged down with the influx of creativity in a long time. There are pros and cons to that, Pros: I've gotten some really decent sleep. Cons: I have not felt the need to express myself in ways that requires creativity.
I do deal with depression. It's out there; I'm not trying to hide from it. I want to harness it and learn from it so I am in control. Some days are worse than others and all I can muster is being submissive to it's darkness. Let me tell you, IT'S SO HARD to look at myself in the mirror some days because I don't recognize myself. But, I am working to get better. I am trying to hold myself accountable so I actually achieve things without putting them down.
In my self exploration, I have come to realize I am a master procrastinator. If I don't have deadlines, those projects will never get done. Majority of the time, I do my best work when I'm under constraints, but that's no excuse to continuously leave things behind.
So, since I've last written, I've ridden the rollercoaster that is my mind, an actual rollercoaster, I've gotten married to my best friend (some days), re-enrolled in school, and I've painted. YES! I HAVE PAINTED!
It felt good. I had a great time. I loved it and hated it. My normal rounds. I need to figure out how to leave it alone when I Love it, but it never feels finished when I love it.
Any who, if you'd like to see my newest painting, Head on over to the gallery page under commission!